Taking care of WANG YUANJI for Dummies
by Insertnameheretwentytimes
Summary: A manual for the WANG YUANJI unit


**Introduction**

Congratulations! You now have obtained the WANG YUANJI unit, the most expensive unit in the Jin line (Go figure) along with the SIMA YI unit, so if you have regrets please return within the 30-day deadline. Known to be Koei's eye candy and almost poster girl. For some reason she is blonde. Her mother must have been French or something...

Thank you for finding us at the flea market parking lot.

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**Comes with...**

**One (1) hair clip**

**Seven (7) pixie girl dresses **

**Nine (9) throwing knives**

**Two (2) pairs of heels**

**Forty (40) bottles of Pantene shampoo**

**Basic Information**

**Name: Wang Yuanji (Go on, make the wang jokes)**

**Gender: Female**

**Place of Manufacture: Tan County, China**

**Other names: Creator's pet, Cold-face bitch, Tsundere girl, otaku wet dream-Okay we get it! **

**Famous for: I don't know, carrying the future emperor of Jin in her tummy?**

**Spouse: Sima Zhao **

**Children: Five sons and a daughter**

**Appearance: Short and blond**

**Build: Feminine **

**Age: 20-21 **

**Striking Features: Blonde hair even though Ancient Chinese people are supposed to have either brown or black hair **

**Height: 5'3 **

** Pe#n^is L^eng)^th: (Suzaku! Please remove this part! I'll give you your job back! Just do this!)**

**Sexual Orientation: Heterosexual (You don't even have to remove this part! Just please remove the penis size part from the women manuals!) **

**Quirks: Surprisingly, she's the only normal person in the Jin line. Maybe a little too touchy.**

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**Instructions**

The box will be small, so you can open it anywhere in your home. Convenient! When you open the box, please be aware her skirt's pretty short and you could see them bright as day. But then again, she looks like a little girl so don't open this when someone is in sight or they'll think you're a pedophile. Introduce yourself or the WANG YUANJI unit will just leave the house.

Please don't stare at her chest. She'll smack you and this will be bad first start for you two.

**Care**

Are you actually asking me if it's okay to bathe this unit yourself? That's sort of a big no-no with female units and some male units. So don't bother offering to wash her. Besides, it's her alone time. Her diet consists of plant and animal matter. You can cook for the two of you or you can be a sexist douche and have her do all of the cooking. It's probably best to avoid giving her junk food or else she might puke. Her tongue isn't that developed enough to taste artificial flavors. She's taking your bed. Shut up, she's still taking it. If you're female, you can share with her.

**How to keep your WANG YUANJI unit happy**

She likes reading, so give her books. Okay, she might respond to some technological items. I don't know the rest since she's a very confusing person. Experiment with different things to see what she likes. Having any Sima family member will at least do away with some of her boredom. Please don't stare at her, she'll get defensive or pissed, depending on your bond.

**The WANG YUANJI unit will disobey you or leave you if the following happens...**

You asking her to let you motorboat her

Walking in on her during her alone time

You treat her like a piece of crap

You die

Koei comes in to take her

**Precautions**

**Please avoid giving her a gun. She won't use it immediately, but she now has an idea.**

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**Special Skills**

**-Chinese translator and speaker**

**-Scholar**

**-Sharpshooter (With knives, of course)**

**-Small hands (Just in case you lose the remote under your cushions) **

**-Cooking (Better than Sima Zhao's cooking)**

**Modes**

**Cold with a side of ****Tsundere ****(Default)**

**Wife (To SIMA ZHAO unit)**

**Time of the Month**

**Honorary daughter (To ZHANG CHUNHUA unit)**

**Mutual Admiration (To SIMA SHI unit)**

**Romancing**

**Females: I don't think so. She doesn't seem to be into women. **

**Males: Keep the SIMA ZHAO unit out when you try to do this unit. He'll kill you if you do. She's tsundere, so I guess throw mixed signals around until you two are in bed together. She's confusing, so why don't you confuse her back?**

**Interactions**

**SIMA YI: Father-in-law. Has daddy issues.**

**SIMA SHI: Brother-in-law. Kills a butterfly whenever he sees one.**

**SIMA ZHAO: Husband. He thought Google was a sex move. **

**ZHANG CHUNHUA: Mother-in-law. Is starting to get sick of all of the dog puns.**

**JIA CHONG: Both are Zhao puppet masters. Hates llamas.**

**ZHONG HUI: She predicted him rebelling. Mama's boy. (Historically)**

**XIAHOU BA: Both are the same height. Likes LARPing.**

**FAQ's**

_**My unit is just sitting there.**_

**I can't help you there. **

_**My unit keeps on hitting me!**_

**You're probably offending her in someway and she is telling you to change your act.**

_**Can she kill someone?**_

**She carries knives and they are accurate when she throws them. What do you think?**

_**Can I play foo****tball with her?**_

**What do you mean? Play with her or her AS the football?**

_**She's just giving me slaps and blushing when I try to do her.**_

**That's what you get for getting someone tsundere. Gee, I don't know why Japan gets a boner for these kinds of girls. **

_**Can I try to have a threesome with her and her husband?**_

**...Uuuuuuhhhhh... If you're into that sort of thing, then fine? I don't know about those two though... Ah, I don't care really.**


End file.
